


The Magicians But I Let Them Be Happy

by typical_art_dork



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Everyone Lives Okay, F/F, F/M, Fen is the loml, Group chat, M/M, Quentin and Julia Share a Braincell, let them be happy, slice-of-life, texting fic, they're all in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-14 10:27:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18050762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/typical_art_dork/pseuds/typical_art_dork
Summary: filloryfanboy: also FRANKLY bold of you all to assume i even have One Functional Brain Cell At Allbambitheconqueror: he has one and he shares it with juliakadysbestbitch: mom says it's my turn on the brain cell!!420josh: julia for the love of god PLEASE pick a texting style this fluctuation is Awful420josh: pick an aesthetic and COMMIT





	1. Eliot Is NOT A Twink

**Author's Note:**

  * For [myself!!](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=myself%21%21).



> I'm sorry for creating this, please forgive me in advance. 
> 
> (This is set after they yeet The Monster out of Eliot's body and everything is fine and dandy ((except for a mild salamander infestation)) BECAUSE IT'S WHAT THEY DESERVE!!)

**420josh** added **thefool** , **bambitheconqueror** , **penny23** , **ourladyofthetree** , **eliotkingofthegays** , **alicequinn** , and **killerkady** to the chat

 **alicequinn** has left the chat

 **420josh** : o u c h

 **penny23** : 1) What did you expect? 2) Why does this exist?

 **420josh** has named the chat "Quest Buddies"

 **penny23** has left the chat

 **thefool** : okay,,,, alright,,, not to be rude or anything but. Who The Hell Changed My Name.

 **ourladyofthetree** : Definitely DEFINITELY Eliot... a traitorous twink is in our midst!!

 **eliotkingofthegays** : HOW FUCJING DARE YOU

 **eliotkingofthegays** : firsTLY,,, I AM A TWUNK YOUNG PADAWAN

 **420josh** : ELIOT YOU LIKE STAR WARS?!

 **eliotkingofthegays** : shut uP josh

 **eliotkingofthegays** : SECONDLY,,,,

 **bambitheconqueror** has changed **thefool's** name to **filloryfanboy**

 **filloryfanboy** : nvm this is worse

 **eliotkingofthegays** : S E C O N D L Y,,,,,

 **eliotkingofthegays** : WHY WOULD I DO THAT TO QUENTIN

 **ourladyofthetree** : calm your tits Eliot

 **420josh** : sTOP ONLY CAPITALIZING ONE WORD

 **ourladyofthetree** : im a god i do what i Want

 **bambitheconqueror** : el sweetie your caps lock is still on

 **eliotkingofthegays** : sh i t

 **killerkady** : me when j*sh adds me to a group chat with penny23

 **420josh** : why,,, is my name censored? ??

 **killerkady** has muted the chat

 **420josh** : K A D Y

 **ourladyofthetree** : KADY NO DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH THEM,,,!!!!!

 **420josh** : WHY IS MY NAME CENSORED

 **ourladyofthetree** : KADY ILY PLS COME BACK

 **filloryfanboy** : oh gay??

 **ourladyofthetree** : i'm,,,,,

 **ourladyofthetree** : I ' M,,,,,,,,,

 **eliotkingofthegays** : take your time dear

 **ourladyofthetree** : u know what quentin?

 **filloryfanboy** : wot

 **ourladyofthetree** : /I/ changed your name

 **filloryfanboy** : I Can't Believe Julia,,, Jules,,, My Soul Sister,,,,,,

 **bambitheconqueror** : i'm sorry his WHAT

 **filloryfanboy** : Would Take MY HEART and CAST IT INTO THE FLAMES OF BETRAYAL??!!!

 **bambitheconqueror** : someone get me an aspirin i can Hear q's texts,,,

 **ourladyofthetree** : someone Had to Call You Out for what you Are

 **eliotkingofthegays** : Finally,,, Justice,,,, Peace On Earth Itself Has Been Restored

 **filloryfanboy** has changed **ourladyofthetree's** name to **kadysbestbitch**

 **bambitheconqueror** : big wlw energy

 **kadysbestbitch** : f a l s e I Am 100% Heterosexual, You Mongrel

 **bambitheconqueror** : well shit

 **eliotkingofthegays** : bambi w h a t

 **filloryfanboy** : m AR G O ?? ?

 **bambitheconqueror** : In Other News,,, being high king SUCKS

 **eliotkingofthegays** : Finally My Pain Is Understood

 **eliotkingofthegays** : also jules that's some Suspicious Capitalization

 **kadysbestbitch** : I'm Not Afraid To Kill You, Eliot

 **filloryfanboy** : noah fence but if julia killed eliot i would go full niffin and annoy the shit out of her for all eternity like alice almost did to me

 **420josh** : wait what

 **filloryfanboy** : oh shoot i forgot i never told you guys about that hahah wild

 **eliotkingofthegays** : a n y w a y ,,,

 **eliotkingofthegays** : would anyone like to Enlighten Me on why the Frick fen keeps sending me strings of heart emojis with random knives mixed in???? should i be worried or???? ??

 **bambitheconqueror** : she's mad because you left one of the cupboards open (you KNOW which one) and now all the teleporting salamanders are using it as their portal into the palace

 **eliotkingofthegays** : ewHO FUNCINH DESIGNED THAT PLACE WHY WOULD YOU PUT A GODDANM PORTLAL IN A  
C U P B O A R D JJHSJSNSGSHSG

 **filloryfanboy** : "ewho"

 **filloryfanboy** : "goddanm portlal"

 **eliotkingofthegays** : STOP THE DISRESPECT!! My Own Husband,,, A Traitor,,

 **kadysbestbitch** has added alicequinn to the chat

 **kadysbestbitch** : ALOFE PLEASE YOU'RE OUR ONLY HOPE

 **bambitheconqueror** : "ALOFE" I'M WHEEZING JULIA WHY CAN'T YOU SPELL

 **eliotkingofthegays** : that's gay culture if i ever saw it!! does julia wicker is gay??!

 **alicequinn** : Eliot, I can help you with the cupboard later. For now, tell Fen she'll have to deal with the salamanders. Quentin, shut the fuck up; you're in no position to make fun of typos.

 **alicequinn** : quentinisilliterate.jpg

 **420josh** : i LOVE how she exposed quentin as a Big Gay Sap and simultaneously revealed at LEAST 14 typos in just one (1) screenshot

 **kadysbestbitch** : Everyone tag yourself im "i jsut,,, , lvoe eliot sooOoooiouoo much but what if he dosent like me that way plaese gelp"

 **eliotkingofthegays** : q thats so soft im?? oh my g o d

 **bambitheconqueror** : q- (absolute nonsensical gibberish)

eliot, in tears- GOD THATS SO GAY I LOVE HIM SO MU C H

 **filloryfanboy** : I. WAS. DRUNK.

 **filloryfanboy** : and aND AND!!!

 **filloryfanboy** : IVE SAID IT ONCE AND ILL SAY IT AGAIN

 **filloryfanboy** : I !!!!! A M !!!!!! B I !!!!!!

 **filloryfanboy** : also FRANKLY bold of you all to assume i even have One Functional Brain Cell At All

 **bambitheconqueror** : he has one and he shares it with julia

 **kadysbestbitch** : mom says it's my turn on the brain cell!!

 **420josh** : julia for the love of god PLEASE pick a texting style this fluctuation is Awful

 **420josh** : pick an aesthetic and COMMIT

 **kadysbestbitch** : YOU CANT PUT me In A b o x BitCH

 **eliotkingofthegays** : brains aren't real that's just what The Library wants you 2 think

 **alicequinn** : Eliot isn't real that's just what The Library wants you to think.

 **bambitheconqueror** has removed alicequinn from the chat

 **eliotkingofthegays** : petty???

 **bambitheconqueror** : I Had To Eliminate The Negative Energy

 **filloryfanboy** : valid

 **filloryfanboy** : kick me out too??

 **eliotkingofthegays** : no

 **bambitheconqueror** has added alicequinn to the chat

 **alicequinn** : Make up your mind.

 **bambitheconqueror** : I FELT BAD

 **filloryfanboy** : margo two years ago- alice quinn? hahah what a fucjing NERD what an absolute,,, LOSER hahaha #dontinteract someone get me a glass of vodka!! eliot is The Only One I Love

margo now- alice quinn? hahah what a (hundreds of pictures of alice fall out of her pockets) what a um. what a nerd (frantically gathering up pictures) i just- these are for a FRIEND i sWEAR

 **420josh** : S C R E E N S H O T T E D

 **bambitheconqueror** : QUENTIN COLDWATER

 **eliotkingofthegays** : oh shit babe run

 **filloryfanboy** : wHAT WHY??

 **eliotkingofthegays** : bambi just  
s t o r m e d out of our room at Maximum Velocity,,,

 **bambitheconqueror** : THIS IS BLATANT BIPHOBIA AND I WILL N O T STAND FOR IT

 **filloryfanboy** : maRGO IM BI WH A T

 **filloryfanboy** : HHHSJSBSGSHSBSJSK

 **alicequinn** : Oh my God, she killed him.

 **eliotkingofthegays** : bambi nO

 **kadysbestbitch** : Hey Alice Tell Us Your Thoughts On This Development

 **alicequinn** : Margo is... okay? I guess?

 **eliotkingofthegays** : forget Anything Good i Ever Said about alice she's Cancelled

 **alicequinn** : I mean??! Margo's. Um.

 **420josh** : screenshotted screenshotted screenshotted

 **kadysbestbitch** : SHUT UP JOSH LET HER SPEAK

 **filloryfanboy** : I Am Limve

 **eliotkingofthegays** : that's great darling we're so happy for you

 **filloryfanboy** : Matgo Is Sleepng I Gave Her A Sedative

 **420josh** : You WHAT

 **eliotkingofthegays** : EVEYONE SHUT THE FCUK UP AND LET ALOE SPEAK

 **kadysbestbitch** : "aloe" ELIOT WHAT

 **alicequinn** : Firstly, thank you Eliot. Secondly, stop acting like me and my feelings are a zoo exhibit. Thirdly, Margo has had a lot of character development over the years and I'm definitely okay with being her friend, but I just don't think I'd be good enough for someone like her. Now that that's settled, I'm studying all day. Stop. Bothering. Me.

 **alicequinn** has muted the chat

 **bambitheconqueror** : ????!!?!!?!?!!!!!

 **filloryfanboy** : She Has Waked

 **eliotkingofthegays** : we know q

 **kadysbestbitch** : hey everyone Serious Question- Is Quentin Okay?? ?

 **eliotkingofthegays** : i think bambi may have given him a concussion but other than that WE'RE FINE

 **bambitheconqueror** : ALICE W H A T

 **bambitheconqueror** : okay does anyone know Where This Hoe Is

 **bambitheconqueror** : i'm about to punch her

 **kadysbestbitch** : gays are crazy exhibit a

 **filloryfanboy** : Says Julia, A Known Gay

 **kadysbestbitch** : I!!! AM!!! STRAIGHT!!!

 **bambitheconqueror** : "not good enough" bitch you're the top of our class??!! essentially the hermione granger of brakebills?!!! Who Hurt Her

 **420josh** : quentin lol

 **420josh** : and if i'm hearing correctly abt this whole three-way thing, probably you too

 **eliotkingofthegays** : Who Spoke To You Of That

 **bambitheconqueror** : CRAP

 **bambitheconqueror** : i'm gonna go look for her

 **420josh** : sorry im sworn to secrecy

 **kadysbestbitch** has added **killerkady** and **marinarasauce** to the chat

 **killerkady** : What. The. Hell.

 **kadysbestbitch** : IT WAS GETTING BORING

 **marinarasauce** has changed their name to **marina**

 **marina** : WHO CHANGED MY GODDAMN NAME

 **killerkady** : lmao me

 **bambitheconqueror** : I FOUND ALICE EVERYONE WISH ME LUCK

 **eliotkingofthegays** : WE LOVE AND BELIEBE IN YOU BAMBI <333

 **filloryfanboy** : "beliebe" hey eliot im leaving you

 **eliotkingofthegays** : waIT NO THAT WAS A MISTAKE

 **marina** has left the chat

 **kadysbestbitch** has added **marina** to the chat

 **marina** : J U L I A S T O P

 **alicequinn** has unmuted the chat

 **alicequinn** : So Margo and I are going for coffee?? Eliot I'll help you with the salamanders later. By later, I mean like tomorrow maybe. Or a week from now.

 **alicequinn** has muted the chat

 **bambitheconqueror** : bye everyone ;)

 **eliotkingofthegays** : HECK YEAH GO BAMBI

 **bambitheconqueror** has muted the chat

 **filloryfanboy** : They Makin Out

 **marina** : god i wish that were me

 **kadysbestbitch** : hhHHNSHS MARINA WH A T

 **marina** : 1) margo is kinda hot ngl 2) alice? also kinda hot

 **marina** : don't judge!

 **killerkady** : whyyyy am i here oh god

 **filloryfanboy** : Wlelcome To Hell!

 **killerkady** has muted the chat

 **eliotkingofthegays** has changed the chat name to "everyone shut the fcuk up or im goign to SUE"

 **eliotkingofthegays** : FEN JUST SENT A RABBIT

 **eliotkingofthegays** : AND IT'S JUSR,,,

 **eliotkingofthegays** : "GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE SOMEONE STARTED A REVOLT"

 **filloryfanboy** : ...

 **filloryfanboy** : lovely.


	2. Quentin Just Wants A Panini

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fen and Marina would be such cute friends okay
> 
> Also Q is a disaster bi and Alice loves the moon

 

 

everyone shut the fkuc up or im goign to SUE, 3:02 a.m.

  
 **eliotkingofthegays** : so we've finally calmed The Masses down thanks to fen's elegant and soothing demeanor

 **eliotkingofthegays** : apparently the townspeople were pissed because SOMEONE forgot that one of her duties as high king is to hold the harvest moon festival every year

 **bambitheconqueror** : i can not beLIEVE you are CALLING ME OUT at THREE IN THE MORNING,,,

 **bambitheconqueror** : ABOUT AN OBSCURE FILLORY CULT RITUAL!!!!

 **eliotkingofthegays** : "obscure fillory cult ritual" jesus christ

 **alicequinn** : Margo, the Harvest Moon Festival isn't exclusive to Fillory...

 **bambitheconqueror** : w h a t

 **eliotkingofthegays** : BAMBI. This Is What I Was Trying To Explain Earlier. THE HARVEST MOON FESTIVAL IS AN EARTH THING, TOO.

 **bambitheconqueror** : well IM SORRY my knowledge of the moon is shit eliot!!

 **filloryfanboy** : hey guys quick question why the everloving fuck are you all still awake

 **alicequinn** : The moon is a lesbian.

 **filloryfanboy** : alice i love you but wh a t

 **alicequinn** : Galileo said gay rights!!!

 **eliotkingofthegays** : SHES SO VALID I CANT BELIEVE I EVER DISLIKED ALICE

 **alicequinn** : This is how I get when I'm sleep-deprived!!!!!! Sorry!!!!!!!

 **eliotkingofthegays** : DONT APOLOGIZE

 **eliotkingofthegays** : THIS IS A UNION OF SOULS

 **filloryfanboy** : jes us christ,,,

 **eliotkingofthegays** : ALICE I SEE AND APPRECIATE YOUR LESBIAN MOON HEADCANON AND I RAISE YOU PANSEXUAL PLUTO

 **alicequinn** : YES ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!!!

 **penny23** has re-entered the chat

 **penny23** : QUENTIN I SWEAR TO GOD IF I HAVE TO LISTEN TO "SPARKS FLY" ONE MORE TIME

 **filloryfanboy** : IM S O R R Y

 **bambitheconqueror** : penny we need an outsider's opinion!!

 **bambitheconqueror** : is it That Bad that i didnt know what the harvest moon festival was until five hours ago??

 **penny23** : lmao the what

 **bambitheconqueror** : FINALLY JUSTICE

 **eliotkingofthegays** : alright ALRIGHT we're settling this Once And For All

 **eliotkingofthegays** has added **knifewife** to the chat

 **knifewife** : 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪hello batches

 **marina** : i like that one

 **kadysbestbitch** : WHY ARE ANY OF YOU AWAKE

 **kadysbestbitch** : also "batches" fen im screaming its spelled with an i

 **knifewife** : i know its a cooking joke!!! cause i love to cook!!!!!

 **kadysbestbitch** : wait thats really cute??!!!

 **kadysbestbitch** : hang on i gotta yell at quentin to go to bed but i PROMISE ill talk to you about cooking afterwards i have some Great puns

 **kadysbestbitch** : QUENTIN COLDWATER WHY THE FRESH FLIP ARE YOU AWAKE AT THIS HOUR

 **filloryfanboy** : Time Is A Social Construct Designed To Imprison Humanity

 **filloryfanboy** : also,, ,

 **filloryfanboy** : ~dépresšįøñ~

 **knifewife** : margo the harvest moon festival is really important to fillorians!! i've promised the citizens we're going to reschedule for this friday even though it won't be the same. hopefully we can use some magic to enhance the moon's brightness.

 **bambitheconqueror** : fine f i n e

 **bambitheconqueror** : also q honey are you okay

 **filloryfanboy** : I Just Want A Panini Margo

 **eliotkingofthegays** : there's actually a whole panini press under my bed q just come to my room

 **filloryfanboy** : are you sure about that

 **bambitheconqueror** : he's actually Not Lying,,, we used to stay up all night in eliot's room during finals week and we ran on paninis and regret for days

 **filloryfanboy** : oh my god

 **filloryfanboy** : eliot im on my way

 **eliotkingofthegays** : HJNSBSGS QUENTIN

 **bambitheconqueror** : for everyone who wasn't there quentin just Slammed open eliot's door and Bolted inside our room

 **eliotkingofthegays** : HOW DID HE GET HERE THAT QUICKLY HDHSBBS

 **knifewife** : me running to my bedroom as the entirety of fillory was brutally revolting against someone who wasn't even there lol

 **bambitheconqueror** : FEN BABE IM SO SORRY

 **knifewife** : oh no im just kidding!!! doing a meme!!!!!

 **knifewife** : did i do the meme wrong??

 **marina** : she's perfect

 **marina** : where can i Get One

 **knifewife** : aww who keeps complimenting me

 **marina** : I'm Marina :))

 **kadysbestbitch** : alright aLRIGHT A L R I G H T WHO JUST POSSESSED MARINA

 **marina** : No one, Julia. I can be Distinguished if I want to and Right Now I Have A Gurl To Impress.

 **marina** : mother of shit

 **marina** : GIRL***

 **eliotkingofthegays** : WHO IS THIS AND WHY HAVE I NEVER MET HER

 **kadysbestbitch** : she's a sadistic hedgewitch from timeline 23 lol

 **penny23** : Marina likes gurlssss everyone

 **marina** has removed **penny23** from the chat

 **marina** has left the chat

 **kadysbestbitch** : yo you guys i hope u all know that's The Last Time u will Ever hear from penny23 again

 **kadysbestbitch** : rest in peace brave warrior :'(

 **knifewife** : wait where did she go??!

 **filloryfanboy** : she left honey

 **knifewife** : hhHHHNNGG 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

 **bambitheconqueror** : wow me @ everything

 **bambitheconqueror** : also fen just message her privately!!! you know her user!! go for it!

 **alicequinn** : The Moon Commands You.

 **filloryfanboy** : alice is scaring me lol

 **alicequinn** : Good.

 **eliotkingofthegays** : do any of the rest of you miserable saps want paninis

 **kadysbestbitch** : what i Want is A Will To Live but paninis work too ig ://

 **filloryfanboy** : julia let me use the braincell for a second i just need to. Fully Process how amazing this panini is,,, ,

 **kadysbestbitch** : Fine, Weakling

  
 **knifewife** >> **marina** , 3:16 a.m.

 **knifewife** : hey so uhmm,, sorry if i'm bothering you but i kinda felt bad about how they were teasing you in the chat and i wanted to let you know you seem super nice and i'd love to be friends!! 🌼🌻🌸💐🌷 -fen

 **marina** : I'm,,, Gonna Cry You're So Sweet??!?!?!!

 **marina** : Sorry I'm normally not like this, I've just had a hard time adjusting to this timeline and all and I don't really have many people to talk to. I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you?

 **knifewife** : awww, no problem! message me anytime!! 🔪

 **marina** : What's with the knife thing though? Not that I don't dig it, I'm just slightly confused..,,,

 **knifewife** : oh!! my dad is a knife-maker so i just,,, love knives lol

 **marina** : Marry Me

  
everyone shut the fkuc up or im goign to SUE, 3:27 a.m.

  
 **eliotkingofthegays** : ALL HAIL THE BENEVOLENT PANINI OVERLORD, ELIOT WAUGH

 **kadysbestbitch** : please stop yelling every message you send eliot we can hear you from the first floor

 **bambitheconqueror** : calm down, at least he's not screaming it in your ear

 **filloryfanboy** : BOW TO HIM

 **kadysbestbitch** : Im The Only God In This Household, Dumbasses

 **alicequinn** : She raises an excellent point.

 **kadysbestbitch** : Shut The Hell Up Or I'm Chucking The Panini Press Out The Second-Floor Window

 **bambitheconqueror** : oh god please do

 **bambitheconqueror** : quentin has eaten FOUR in the span of like ten minutes i cant Believe this is happening,,,

 **kadysbestbitch** : Q U E N T I N

 **filloryfanboy** : You Know Nothing Of The Power You Could Possess If U Just Ate One Of Them Paninis

 **bambitheconqueror** : "one of them paninis"

 **kadysbestbitch** : i don't get paid enough for this shit

 **eliotkingofthegays** : ooooOoooo there are footsteps outside our room im So Scared

 **eliotkingofthegays** : FUCJ NO JULIA STOP HHHNSNSGSGS

 **eliotkingofthegays** : W H Y

 **kadysbestbitch** : Shut. Up. And LET. me SLEEP.

 **420josh** : hi everyone not to be a bother but,,,

 **420josh** : am literally ready to fling myself into the abyss rn WHY is quentin screaming upstairs

 **filloryfanboy** : THE PANINIS

 **filloryfanboy** : THEYRE GONE

 **filloryfanboy** : THE PANINA P R E S S

 **filloryfanboy** : IS G O N E

 **alicequinn** : "Panina press"

 **eliotkingofthegays** : oh no my panina press

 **filloryfanboy** : ELIOT THSI IS S E R I O U S

 **kadysbestbitch** : quentin im giving you full use of the braincell rn bc i feel like you need it Way more than i do

 **filloryfanboy** : SHUT UP ABOUT MY BRAIN

 **eliotkingofthegays** : honey u need to sleep now

 **filloryfanboy** : lets revolt

 **filloryfanboy** : Off With Julia's Head

 **eliotkingofthegays** : Q. SLEEP. NOW.

 **filloryfanboy:** YoullNeverTakeMeAlive

 **420josh** : did he just fall on his way to the bed

 **eliotkingofthegays** : yes.

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Please Cite Your Sources In MLA Format

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the boys are back in town

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my phone is glitching so i can't bold the usernames,,, i hope you blessings enjoy it anyway

everyone shut the fkuc up or im goign to SUE, 10:32 a.m.

 

alicequinn: Can we maybe... change the chat name? 

eliotkingofthegays: but it represents a primary aspect of our friendship circle

alicequinn: That being...?

eliotkingofthegays: unbridled Chaos and Aggression 

filloryfanboy: eliot's MIND oh my god

alicequinn: Shut up, Quentin. 

alicequinn: I just don't think it's optimal to have a chat name that's so long it takes up the whole banner whenever I get a text notification. 

eliotkingofthegays: UGH take it up with my manager

bambitheconqueror: you called??

alicequinn: Eliot, Margo and I are dating. Do you really think she's going to side with you? 

bambitheconqueror: alice- don't be presUMPTUOUS ELIOT

alice- (is presumptuous in the same sentence)

filloryfanboy: what is Happening should i get popcorn

bambitheconqueror: it's just a chat name bitches. calm down, drink some rosé, take a bath

knifewife: treat yo'self!! self care motherfrickers! 

knifewife: I Am Learning All The New Phrases

filloryfanboy: im so proud of her??^

eliotkingofthegays: IT MATTERS BAMBI

bambitheconqueror: PLEASE tell me this isn't going to turn into some objectifying "choose me or her" bullshit, cause if it does you know i'll shut it down real quick

eliotkingofthegays: that's Not What This Is,,,,

eliotkingofthegays: ALL i'm asking is,,,,,

eliotkingofthegays: who do you side with? alice or me?

alicequinn: He says, contradicting himself in the shocking span of three seconds. 

bambitheconqueror has changed the chat name to "both of you go choke"

filloryfanboy: Power Move

eliotkingofthegays: kinky

filloryfanboy: eliot we're getting a divorce

kadysbestbitch: can someone Please tell me why margo just hurled her glass of wine at the wall of the cottage lmao should i be worried?? 

alicequinn: Scroll up.

kadysbestbitch: E L I O T

eliotkingofthegays: don't have a conniption, i was just joking

kadysbestbitch: you might have been, but i'm pretty sure she's Mad at you??

420josh: STOP WITH THE RANDOM CAPITALIZATION 

kadysbestbitch: I. AM. A. GODDESS. I DO WHAT I W A N T

filloryfanboy: hi im quentin and youre probably wondering how i ended up here

bambitheconqueror: heyyy everyone

bambitheconqueror: sorry abt earlier, ya girl just has some pent-up frustration left over from the couple of months she tried to run an entire kingdom by herself thinking her best friend was dead ;) 

alicequinn: Margo... do you need to talk?

bambitheconqueror: i was j o k i n g

bambitheconqueror: why do you have to be so serious all the timeee

eliotkingofthegays: as much as i loathe to admit it, i'm siding with alice on this one, bambi. you have some serious trauma to sort through.

bambitheconqueror: i'm sorry WHAT

filloryfanboy: uhhh hey guys maybe we should just talk about something else,,,

alicequinn: Quentin?

filloryfanboy: yea??

alicequinn: SHIT IT.

alicequinn: SHUT*

alicequinn: Goddamn it. 

420josh: A L I C E 

alicequinn: IT WAS A T Y P O

eliotkingofthegays: bambi

bambitheconqueror: no.

eliotkingofthegays: bammmbbbbiiiiiii

bambitheconqueror: NO.

eliotkingofthegays: Margo!!!

eliotkingofthegays: I'm being serious, here. You wanna have this talk face-to-face, or?? 

420josh: not to Ruin The Moment but up until this point i genuinely had no idea eliot was capable of typing properly capitalized, coherent sentences

kadysbestbitch: me either. it's Chilling. 

filloryfanboy: margo we love youuu

bambitheconqueror: guys CHILL 

bambitheconqueror: i'm just messing with youuu

alicequinn: Unlikely and unsupported by evidence; please cite your sources in MLA format.

420josh: ALICE NO!!

filloryfanboy: WOw flashbacks to high school hehnssg alice whyyy

kadysbestbitch: OH MY GOD Q U E N T I N

filloryfanboy: oh shit

kadysbestbitch: IM GONNA TELL THEM

filloryfanboy: UM N O ???!!!?!?! J U L I A

kadysbestbitch: ONE TIME IN WORLD LIT QUENTIN WAS READING HIS ESSAY OUT LOUD TO THE CLASS AND THE TEACHER GOES "WHERE DID YOU FIND THAT SOURCE" ADN,,, QUENTIN JUS T P A N I C S AND goES "UHHH WELL YOU SE E,,, I LIKE THIS BOOK SERIES,,," aND THEN PROCEEDS TO GIVE THE FUKVING SYNOPSIS OF THE FILLORY BOOKS 

420josh: feels good feels organic

alicequinn: More importantly, what was the essay on? 

kadysbestbitch: Contemporary Literature or smth i can't remember lmao

filloryfanboy: J U L I A 

 

eliotkingofthegays >> bambitheconqueror, 10:47 a.m.

 

eliotkingofthegays: Spill.

bambitheconqueror: i was jokING,,,

eliotkingofthegays: Margo. Talk to me.

bambitheconqueror: f i n e

bambitheconqueror: i felt like utter shit for an entire year, that's it. 

eliotkingofthegays: Bambi... 

bambitheconqueror: since when are we the kind of friends that talk about their feelings sober?? 

eliotkingofthegays: Since now. Go. Talk. Elaborate. 

eliotkingofthegays: I love you, idiot. This is me making sure you're okay. 

bambitheconqueror: I thought you were dead and it nearly made me go crazy and now it's like you're not even you anymore and when you ARE you you're always with Quentin and obviously I'm so happy for both of you but it also makes me feel kind of. Unimportant. It's stupid; forget I said anything.

eliotkingofthegays: Margo... I'm so sorry. 

bambitheconqueror: and THIS is why i didn't wanna have this convo 

eliotkingofthegays: Get upstairs now so I can hug you for 8727262 years.

bambitheconqueror: sigh 

bambitheconqueror: okay

 

both of you go choke, 11:01 a.m.

 

filloryfanboy: eliot has NOT let go of margo for like five minutes should i be worried

alicequinn: Feeling threatened, Q?

filloryfanboy: hhHHNGSGG N O 

alicequinn: (Narrator Voice) He said, you know, like a liar.

kadysbestbitch has added penny23 to the chat

penny23: WHY. 

kadysbestbitch: it's Making Fun Of Quentin Hours!! 

penny23: finally

penny23 has added killerkady

knifewife: it's w h a t

marina: MAKING FUN OF QUENTIN HOURS

knifewife: i dunno what that means but ok lol

marina: god she's so uncultured

marina: I Love It

killerkady: hey quentin is eliot and margo's hug giving u flashbacks to yr first year here ;))

alicequinn: Kady. I Thought We Were Acquaintances. How Could You Go There.

kadysbestbitch: ^me when marina kicked me out of her cult

marina: your marina was a bitch ngl

filloryfanboy: GUYS im not JEALOUS

alicequinn: Pretty aggressive emphasis for someone who's perfectly secure...

filloryfanboy: i was just Concerned,, I've never seen them hug this long before while they're awake

420josh: "while they're awake" hey quentin what the fuck

kadysbestbitch: love that you just implied you watch eliot and margo while they sleep

filloryfanboy: hhHNG WAIT NO

killerkady: calm down, edward

alicequinn: I just walked upstairs and they're Still Hugging what Is This

kadysbestbitch: Platonic Soulmates 

bambitheconqueror: hey, guys,

bambitheconqueror: you're ruining our hug

filloryfanboy: theyhug.jpg

penny23: quentin stop being a creep 

filloryfanboy: wh A T

filloryfanboy: IM SORRY IM SOFT FOR THEM 

alicequinn: Margo gives the best hugs. I want in.

filloryfanboy: okay seconded

eliotkingofthegays: saps!!! 

kadysbestbitch: Gay Update just walked in on quentin literally shoving his way between eliot and margo and margo looks kind of Disgusted and alice is like,, being really polite and just watching from afar like "ah yes thats the idiot i dated for like four months" 

filloryfanboy: "gay update" is julia finally coming out???? 

kadysbestbitch: NOOOO I MEANT GAY UPDATE AS IN,, YOU AND ELIOT ARE GAY???? 

filloryfanboy: im bi, bitches

filloryfanboy: nice try hoolia 

kadysbestbitch: THAT NICKNAME WAS NEVER APPROVED

marina: human emotions gross

penny23: Astute Observation, Marina

knifewife: I WANT A HUG!!!!!!

kadysbestbitch: god same

penny23: feelins ew

penny23: wait no

filloryfanboy: "feelins"

bambitheconqueror: Says Quentin "actuallu, im bisector" Coldwater

alicequinn: B i s e c t o r

alicequinn: Quentin HOW

filloryfanboy: I WAS D R U N K 

marina: imagine being such a disaster nerd that your typos are geometric vocabulary terms

filloryfanboy: this is ABUSE

eliotkingofthegays: oh quentin

eliotkingofthegays: my sweet summer child

filloryfanboy: wHy do people keep calling me that

filloryfanboy: what! does! it!! mean!!!

kadysbestbitch: nobody Tell him

420josh: JULIA S T O P

alicequinn: Let her capitalize whatever she wants! 

filloryfanboy: ALICE WHEN HAS THAT EVER BEEN YOUR PHILOSOPHY

alicequinn: I'm WORKING on some Character Development, Quentin. 

penny23: so uhhh

penny23: dean fogg wanted me to tell all the physical kids that he heard last night's party from all the way across campus and he wants to see eliot in his office during free period

eliotkingofthegays: dammit

alicequinn: I Was Not Part Of This 

penny23: whatever you idiots did, it's Bad

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this will hopefully have multiple chapters. I hope it wasn't too much of a trainwreck.


End file.
